Manage your Energy Not your Time

I recently saw this article How Hustling Only Makes You Tired (contains profanity) and it felt like it spoke directly to me at this point in my life. It gave me even more permission to do what I need to do to work smarter and not harder. I used to think “that sounds great but it won’t work for me”. But why not? Working hard is an old mindset that doesn’t have to be relevant any more. So why was I applying outdated thinking to my current life?

We often hear about the importance of managing our time. But I’m reconsidering that. What if it’s really about managing our energy? What if the key to moving from working harder to working smarter lies in finding the optimal ways to expend and replenish our energy?

  • When I manage my energy I spend my mornings doing my creative projects like new content of SOS because that’s when my brain is most alive.
  • When I manage my energy I take a quick walk or listen to music before picking up my kids so I can truly be present with them.
  • When I manage my energy I get help instead of struggle unnecessarily.
  • When I manage my energy I step into my power as a superwoman even more.

Think about what would be different for you if you shifted your energy in a way that works better for you. Would you be able to exercise in a way that feels good to your body? Spend more time with friends? Be more productive at work? Take a moment to consider how managing your energy instead of your time could really help you be more powerful.

Once you realize the best way to spend your energy you’ll have to make some shifts to make it happen. It’s usually not the desire that we get stuck on but how our desires and changes will affect others. It’s how others will feel when what we need is different than it’s been in the past. We don’t want to hurt or disappoint others but we’re torn because we also want to be good and take better care of ourselves.

My upcoming mini E-course will dive into that and teach you how to follow your energy and desires by actually say no with kindness and without hurting or disappointing others. Be sure to register and also share with a superwoman who you know needs this.

The Importance of Grace

In a society where women are always expected to have it together, we tend to be the hardest on ourselves. This is where grace comes in. Grace for ourselves and grace for others. Rather than letting the weight of the world rest on your shoulders, remind yourself to operate in grace. Here’s how.

Say No To Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a grace killer. Your family loves you regardless if you accidentally drop the eggs on the kitchen floor or if you leave the dishes in the sink until the morning. Stop feeling like you “failed” and let grace intervene.

In The Workplace
Is your to-do list a mile long? Are you trying to finish your work while also trying to find time to help your co-worker finish her to-do list? Slow down. Sit down and make realistic deadlines for yourself. Prioritize and allow yourself to be okay if some of the things on your list get moved to another day.

Show Grace To Others
Lastly, don’t forget to extend grace to other people. It’s very easy to get so caught up in our own lives that we forget that people might be going through a tough time too. By extending grace to others, you will start to see a shift in your attitude,

Challenge yourself today to be open to grace. It’s amazing how freeing it is when you find the balance between challenging yourself to grow while still allowing grace to operate in your daily life.

How to Take a Step Back From Your Work and Stay Focused at the Same Time

If you’re too busy or distracted by too many problems, you can’t harness your full potential.

When our minds are distracted and constantly racing it impacts our ability to focus on that end goal. Slowing down your thoughts and mind so you can be most productive is key to success in business and in life. Slow down your thinking to speed up your results!

Watch Deepak Chopra explain more (1 minute video)

Side note to Deepak – haven’t you met enough incredible Superwomen (Lady O, Brene Brown) to know that we’re the business people (not just men!) that you’re talking to?! Ok, mini rant over. The lesson he shares is still very valid 🙂

What’s taking up unnecessary space in your mind?

An idle mind is the devil’s playground is not just a saying! Research has shown that when our minds have nothing to do they think. And in many cases don’t stop thinking leading to worry, anxiety, and depression. But there are proven techniques to stop those racing thoughts.

I know you’re busy so here’s what you need to know if you don’t want to  Read the full article here.

If your mind doesn’t have anything to think about it creates something which is often a worry. As women we’re prone to worrying as we’re often multitasking and thinking of several things and people who need to be tended to. But there are ways to take your busy, worrying mind and calm it. First, decide if you need to worry. Sometimes it’s just a bad habit and that particular instance doesn’t need our worry.  If that’s the case fill your mind with something else. Some of my favorites include:

Tell me, what’s the hardest part about your mind constantly running? I want to hear from you! Simply hit reply and let me know.

Catch It, Check It, And Correct It: 3 Steps to Changing Self-Doubt

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to spend time and energy on something (or someone) that isn’t good for you? Whether it’s seeing the seemingly perfect lives of everyone on Facebook or spending time with someone who constantly complains and criticizes it’s easy to find yourself in a situation that leaves you feeling empty and broken.

We generate enough of our own self-doubt and self-criticism that we don’t need to actively engage with people and things that add to it. So if you want to stop letting negativity into your world and life use the 3 C’s* to change it:

CATCH IT

CHECK IT

CORRECT IT

CATCH IT – Pay attention to what you’re watching, hearing, and who you’re listening to. Rather than go about your day on autopilot be more mindful and purposeful in your interactions.

CHECK IT – Once you Catch It, Check It. Ask yourself if the people and activities you’re surrounded by are ones that are helpful or hurtful to you. Do they add value to you and your life? Or do they add hardship and strain? Once you have the answer to this you can make the necessary changes!

CORRECT IT – Turn the television channel, take a break from social media, or ask your friend to talk about something pleasant and enjoyable. Others won’t change for you unless you ask them to. Make the requests and changes in your environment that you need to live a more fulfilled life!

Share what works for you to get out of the bad habit of taking in criticism and negativity. Let’s learn and grow together!

* Adapted from Group Cognitive Behavioral (CBSST) Manual (Granholm et al., 2005) by Dimitri Perivoliotis, Ph.D. 2007

The Second Glass Ceiling

We’re all too familiar with the glass ceilings that women face in the workplace. Not getting raises or promotions, being limited in the projects we’re included on, and watching credit for our own work given to others.

But there’s another glass ceiling that is seldom discussed. It’s the self-imposed glass ceiling that we don’t acknowledge. The ways that we take ourselves out of the game before it even begins. It’s the ways we talk ourselves out of opportunities that may be risky or perhaps just new because we “know it’s not going to happen anyway”.

Now more than ever we need to take care of ourselves so we can be and do what we were created for. Spa days and hanging out with girlfriends are fun and even necessary (sistagirls are necessary!) but that’s not the self-care I’m talking about. I’m talking about ways to pour into yourself so that you are full of commitment and purpose and a willingness to do things differently in order to break the limitations that you’ve set for yourself.

When I consider all that my mother and grandmother overcame (bad marriages while working very hard and raising children) so I could have it easier it’s another reminder that allowing a glass ceiling to linger is not acceptable. Here are three self-care tips to help you shatter your own self-imposed ceiling:

Why Not Me?
So often we ask ourselves Why Me? Why would they want me to _________? Start asking yourself Why Not Me? Assume that you are deserving of the same opportunities that others have, even if you’ve never had them before. Recently I was invited to attend an invitation-only conference for professional women of color. I walked around in a daze for about a week wondering Why Me? What do they want from me? Do I belong there among incredibly accomplished women?

And then I realized, Why Not Me and it let me dive head first into this new experience.

What Would Michelle Do
Find someone who you admire and/or consider successful in living life or in business the way that you want to. This can be someone you personally know or someone you don’t know. Keep a mental image of them in your head. Let’s use Michelle Obama as an example. Whenever those self-doubts rise or you find yourself talking yourself out of new opportunities ask yourself, “What Would Michelle Do?” Would Michelle ask for a raise while outlining all of her accomplishments to support her request? Would Michelle tackle a new project that will take her out of her comfort zone? WWJD will help you shatter your own limiting ceiling.

Just Because You Think It Doesn’t Make It True
So often we believe the thoughts in our heads. But just because we have a thought doesn’t make it true! Alternative facts often take hold of our thoughts and then our actions. When we let thoughts of self-doubt or even meanness (e.g. I can’t believe I did that, I’m so stupid) take hold that glass ceiling gets a little lower.

Because of my profession I have a lot of close friends who are therapists so it’s easy for me to get help with changing my thought process. But there are some concrete tools to help you dispute the negative self-talk and replace it with the truth.